Ephesians 5:22–24

Wives and Submission in Marriage

“Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”

Submission, Love, and the Verse That Refuses to Stay Quiet

Few passages have shaped—and strained—Christian conversations about marriage like Ephesians 5:22–24. For some, these verses feel like a relic of patriarchy, weaponized to silence women or sanctify control. For others, they are defended so fiercely that any question is treated as rebellion against Scripture itself. Somewhere in the tension, the text has been pulled into battles it was never meant to fight, often leaving real people wounded in the process.

What makes this passage especially volatile is not just what it says, but what is often left unsaid. Read in isolation, “wives submit” can sound like hierarchy without love, authority without accountability. But Paul does not begin with wives, nor does he end with them. He frames the entire section with mutual submission, then places an almost scandalous weight on husbands: love your wife as Christ loved the church—by giving himself up for her. This is not a call to control. It is a call to die to self.

This section invites us to slow down, read carefully, and resist both reactionary rejection and uncritical acceptance. The question is not whether Scripture teaches submission—but what kind, to what end, and under whose model. When Christ defines headship by sacrifice and love, everything changes. And if we miss that, we don’t just misunderstand marriage—we misunderstand the gospel it’s meant to reflect.

Controversy:

•Gender roles and patriarchy

•Potential misuse for abuse or oppression

•Tension with equality and mutual love in marriage

1. Why is this verse controversial, misunderstood, or debated?

•Appears to enforce male authority over women.

•Often cited to justify abuse or control.

•Critics see conflict with Galatians 3:28’s equality statement.

2. What does it really mean in the bigger picture?

•Paul uses the Christ-church relationship as a model.

•Submission is mutual and rooted in love, not domination.

•The passage emphasizes order, respect, and harmony within marriage.

3. How do we understand and apply it today?

•Submission should reflect love, respect, and partnership, not coercion.

•Husbands are also called to sacrifice themselves for their wives (Ephesians 5:25).

•Mutual submission (v. 21) frames the entire teaching.

4. What is the purpose of it being in the Bible?

•Provide guidance for stable, loving households.

•Illustrate spiritual truths through marriage as a reflection of Christ and the church.

•Teach relational responsibility and interdependence.

5. What does it teach about God, Christianity, and life?

•God values order, love, and mutual care.

•Relationships should reflect Christ’s self-giving and servant leadership.

•True authority is protective, sacrificial, and loving.

6. How would it have been understood originally?

•First-century marriages were patriarchal; submission language would resonate culturally.

•Paul reframed submission in a Christ-centred, reciprocal ethic.

•Women were honoured and spiritually equal even within social hierarchies.

7. Is it as controversial as it looks?

•Controversial if read in isolation.

•Less so when understood as part of mutual submission and Christlike love.

8. How does it fit a loving God and the rest of Scripture?

•Submission is voluntary and relational, reflecting God’s love.

•Husbands are commanded to love sacrificially, not exploit.

•Aligns with biblical principles of mutual respect, humility, and care.

9. Cultural, historical, or linguistic factors

•Greek word hypotassō = submit, arrange under, respect authority.

•Does not imply inferiority, but proper relational structure.

•Cultural expectation of male headship reframed as Christlike leadership.

10. Related passages

•Ephesians 5:21 — Mutual submission

•Colossians 3:18–19 — Similar teaching

•1 Peter 3:1–7 — Submission and respect

•Genesis 2:18 — Complementarity in creation

11. Literary context

•Part of household codes in Ephesians 5.

•The teaching flows from spiritual unity, Christ’s love, and the church analogy.

12. Underlying principle

•Relationships should mirror Christ’s love and sacrifice.

•Submission is not about hierarchy but harmony and mutual care.

13. Historical interpretation

•Historically misused to justify patriarchy and oppression.

•Modern interpreters emphasize mutuality, love, and context.

•Evangelical and mainline readings vary: complementarian vs egalitarian approaches.

14. Practical guidance today

•Husbands: Lead sacrificially, serve, protect, and love wives.

•Wives: Respect and support in partnership.

•Marriage becomes a living metaphor of Christ’s love.

15. Common misconceptions

•Submission = inferiority

•Submission allows abuse

•Only women are commanded; men have no responsibility

16. Human nature and societal insight

•Humans struggle with power dynamics.

•God calls for humility, self-giving, and relational order.

•True leadership is service, not domination.

✅ Summary

Ephesians 5:22–24 teaches:

•Mutual submission in Christ.

•Sacrificial love as the model for authority.

•Marriage as a reflection of Christ and the Church.

It is not a license for control or oppression, but a call to respect, love, and partnership.